Runaway Howlter - Dil Howlter, Short Story
by ExtraordinaryElliot
Summary: Anyone can run away from home - that's easy. Facing your problems and working through them? Now that takes someone strong.


_My earliest memory is a door being knocked on franticly and that the words,  
_ " _I love you" and "I'm sorry."_

Dan Howell looked up, startled, as an urgent knock came from downstairs. He frowned, wondering who came to someone's house at two in the morning and what they wanted. He feared it would be a murderer or maybe even a fan that had found his and Phil's address. After much mental debate, he headed downstairs, hoping the knock hadn't woken Phil. He peaked through the peephole, seeing no one outside the apartment. Confused, he opened the door.

A basket sat before him, holding a baby. He jumped back, calling for Phil - _to hell with making sure he gets sleep,_ Dan thought, staring at the infant wrapped in a light blue blanket. His roommate appeared at the top of the stairs, tired and annoyed. "What do you want, Dan?" he sighed, running a hand through his dyed black hair. Dan simply pointed at the basket while Phil came down the stairs. He gasped when he saw the baby, looking back at Dan. "What do we do?"

 _When the footsteps faded away, I felt myself being held. And that's when I met them -  
_ _Dan and Phil._

"What do we call him?" Dan asked as he watched Phil rock the child to sleep. Phil bit his lip, looking utterly lost. "Phan?" he joked. Phil giggled, setting the infant back into its basket. He headed over to the kitchen to make himself a coffee - it would be a long night of questions without answers and ideas on how to balance videos and live shows with taking care of a child.

A brilliant idea struck the tall man as he walked back into the lounge to find Dan playing peek-a-boo with the new addition to their lives. "Dil." His roommate looked up, confused. "We should name him Dil - like Dan and Phil, but shortened to both." Dan thought it over, nodding as the idea began sounding better. Phil sat next to him, looking into the child's green eyes. "Hello, Dil. Welcome to your new home." They smiled, and Dil cooed back, watching his new family laugh.

 _Despite the turn of events, they took me in and raised me.  
_ _We were a family._

Dan watched his five-year-old son run around the house, laughing as Phil chased him. The older man was looking tired, but he didn't want to disappoint Dil, so he continued running around. "Papa, you have to go faster!" Dil called, darting around the room. Phil shot a glare at Dan, wondering why he wasn't the one chasing.

"Don't give me that look, Phil! You know I don't exercise!" Dan giggled. Phil sighed, leaning over to catch his breath. Dil climbed onto the couch to sit next to Dan, looking over to watch his dad on the computer. "Dil, you should be the star in our next video." Dil's eyes lit up at the idea as he tackled Dan in a hug, sending him and Phil into laughter.

 _But…  
_ _I always had this doubt, this fear in my mind, that they didn't love me…  
_ _That I was just a burden…  
_ _That I wasn't meant to be there with them._

Dil watched Dan and Phil edit their video, wondering when they would have time to play. He'd been left at a friend's house for eleven weeks while they had been more tour, and he missed them - a lot. But they never seemed to have time for him anymore, not even when they weren't filming or doing a live show. He knew he shouldn't be acting like this; after all, Dada and Papa had taken him in when they didn't have to. They had a right to their own time, and Dil shouldn't take it away from them.

So he went back to the lounge, telling himself that they'd come out in an hour and help him pass the level of a video game that he was stuck on - and when they didn't, he went to bed on the couch, promising himself that they would move him to one of their rooms. And when he woke up on the couch the next morning, he felt himself begin to cry.

 _So one day, I ran away. And I got lost. I was scared.  
_ _Alone._

The city was huge, bigger than Dil had ever imagined. He'd only gone a few blacks, really - he wanted to prove that he didn't need his dad or his father or anyone. He wanted to see how far he could go before they went looking for him. But now he was lost, in a city he didn't know very well. He began to cry, wondering how long it would take for Dada and Papa to find him.

"Phil?" Dan called, opening the door to his friend's room. Phil looked up, curious. "Have you seen Dil? I can't find him anywhere. Did you take him into your room?" Phil shook his head. _I thought you had him last night._ The words echoed around Dan's head for three seconds before he was throwing on his coat and putting on shoes, Phil right behind him.

 _Until they found me. I hadn't gone far, but I was sure I was lost. Yet they found me.  
_ _They looked for me, they noticed I was gone. They - they…_

"Dada! Papa!" Dil called, forcing himself to keep wandering. Many people had stopped to ask him if he was lost, but he remembered a video telling him to stay away from strangers - so he'd ran from them, scared out of his mind. "Please find me!" He stopped in an ally, breaking down into tears. He was scared and sad and alone, and he didn't want to be.

"Dil!" Dan gasped. It was pure coincidence that he had decided to look into the alley two blocks from their house. But Dil had been inside, crying on the floor. His son had looked up, fearful and hopeful at the same time. He's gotten to his feet, running into Dan's arms as his father called Phil, tears in his own eyes at the thought of never seeing Dil again.

 _I saw Papa and Dada cry for the first time that day.  
_ _But the warmth from their hands as we walked home that day told me they were happy._

"Don't ever do that again, Dil," Dan sighed, hugging his son close. Phil sat on the child's other side, both men leaning in with their arms wrapped around the child. Dil sat in between them, crying silently as he wondered what would've happened had Dan not found him. "Why'd you run? You know we love you, right?" All three of them were shaking, thinking over what had gone wrong that lead to the situation.

"I'm sorry, Dada," he cried. "I'm sorry, Papa." Dan and Phil looked over at each other, promising not to cry in front of him. But they failed when he spoke, sobbing as they thought of what Dil must have felt for him to run away before they were awake. "Please don't hate me!" The words _I'm sorry_ and _I love you_ rang throughout the house, filling the young boy with a feeling of happiness.

 _And the truth is.…  
_ _I'm happy, too.  
_ _-Dil Howlter_


End file.
